Where Are All the Single Men Hiding?

Image: Charles Deluvio

I’m a newlywed, but I have a ton of single girlfriends who’ve suddenly started flocking to me for dating advice. It’s almost as if the moment I walked down the aisle and exchanged vows, I became a relationship guru. Ok, I’m no guru, but a girl can dream! Right? Anyhow, I really enjoy talking about dating, marriage, and relationships, quite a bit—it’s somewhat a hobby of mine. Now that I am married, I’m able to speak to my single girlfriends on things that I experienced and learned during my single years. But to be completely transparent, in our own way, whether married or single, we’re all trying to figure this thing out.

Nevertheless, a few days ago, I gathered with some of my girlfriends, and the topic of conversation this time was their attendance at a singles’ night/matchmaking event, that several of them attended together. To their dismay, there wasn’t much matching to be done since the event turned out to be a complete ‘lady fest’. Females left and right, and only a sprinkling of eligible bachelors. I listened attentively, as they went back and forth sharing their experience until finally, one shouted out, “WHERE ARE ALL THE SINGLE MEN HIDING?!” “Well sis”, I started off in my best Iyanla: Fix My Life tone, “that’s because your future man isn’t out here in these streets, girl, he’s ONLINE!”

Now, let me give you three reasons why:

  1. It’s 2018. The age of information. An iconic period where communication is characterized by the rapid shift from traditional forms of messaging to Google, social media, smartphones, sliding in the DMs, and loads of dating sites. Everything is instant and right at your fingertips.
  1. Online profiles are the easiest way to screen eligible companions since practically everything you need to know about a person is listed in their profile. Don’t want someone with kids? Cool, let’s check out their profile. Don’t want someone too short? Check their profile and compare their height to others next to them. Want someone that has a college degree? Check their profile! You can literally learn almost everything about a person without even saying a word to them. Once they’ve done their research and they’re still interested, trust me sis, they’ll reach out. In the meantime, start by reviewing your own profile and figure out what it says about you, and make edits as needed.
  1. Men hate rejection. Remember back in the day when a guy would work up the nerve to talk to you only, for you to shut him down publicly? Well, the rejection is much less of a blow to the ego when it’s done online. Studies show that people tend to aim higher when communicating with dating prospects online and are overall more confidant.

If you’re looking for a serious relationship, or at least an opportunity to meet other like-minded singles then get out of the club and get online! Try a dating app, especially those with a paid membership. Research shows that singles serious about meeting a partner online will pay money to join a dating site.

So now that you’ve got the scoop, sign-up and make sure your profile speaks to who you are, your values, likes, dislikes, and everything in between. However, just as it is with face-to-face dating, there will always be those out there looking to play games. So, remember that discernment is key!

Do you agree/disagree? Have you tried a dating app? Are you open to it or opposed?

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Toni-Ann Craft is a creative with a passion for writing, media and all things entertainment. She is a Relationship Coach and a ‘lover of love’ who often finds herself writing about various aspects of love and relationships. She possesses a background in entertainment media and has worked for major media and entertainment conglomerates including SAG-AFTRA, Walt Disney Publishing and Sony Music Entertainment. She is a proud alumna of Howard University where she received a Bachelor’s in Communication & Culture and Georgetown University where she earned her Master’s in Public Relations and Corporate Communications. She is a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. and a native New Yorker currently residing in the Washington, DC metropolitan area with her husband Kenneth.


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